It pains me to write this letter to you. We’ve had a wonderful time together, but it’s time for some honesty.
I’ve been struggling. Struggling to find a reason to watch Jessica Jones – yet another show based on a comic book character. I guess I shouldn’t have to find a reason, especially since shows with female leads, comic books or otherwise you normally treat like kryptonite. I know that as a comic book fan you’ve expected me to watch your comic book shows and movies – to critique, discuss and support them, even if they’re a bloated piece of crap like Avengers: Age Of Ultron. You’ve told me ad nauseam that Jessica Jones is a fantastic show, but something has been holding me back from watching it. I couldn’t figure out why until it suddenly dawned on me.
To paraphrase Samuel Jackson from his stellar work in Snakes On a Plane – “I’ve had it with these motherfucking comic book shows and movies on my motherfucking screens!”
My apologies for the expletives. I know that you prefer everything to be PG13 between us, especially in the movie theaters.
I’ve told you about my comics malaise and yet your response is always “I don’t understand! I thought all you comic book fans, nerds, geeks or whatever you call yourselves would be happy with all of the comic book stuff we’ve made!”
Well, I was at first. I still remember my preteen comic book years and your awkward forays (1978-1980) into our world with Superman, Heavy Metal and Flash Gordon. But you got better! Those halcyon days of the first Batman, Blade, Spider-man, and The Crow movies still make me smile. You made me so happy and thrilled to be a comic book fan. You were still hit and miss with most of your endeavors then, but I truly appreciated the effort.
Then came the Batman reboot, which was spectacular and I don’t even like Batman. I was so proud of you. I saw that you had finally find your path and knew that more good things were going to come. But I should have known that it wasn’t meant to be once you released the first Avengers movie. Once that movie made billions of dollars all you saw were dollar signs. You forgot about me.
You no longer cared about our love – our love for comic books. Hell, I’m starting to wonder if you ever read any of them. Maybe that explains why you thought cutting Cyclops and Storm‘s leadership balls off in the X-men movies was a good idea though it’s contrary to the their actual comic book storylines. Why do I still bother explaining these things to you?! You’ve never really listened to me. Maybe you just pretended to like me to get me to tell all my comic book friends about your shows and movies; to help you save money on marketing and promotions. I was so gullible then.
Instead of trying to do different types of films and shows you became obsessed with only making comic book-themed productions.
Wherever I turn there you are, constantly smothering me with your obsession. The Walking Dead. Daredevil. The Flash. Gotham. Arrow. Black Panther. Aquaman. Batman v. Superman. Justice League. Agents of Shield. The Preacher. Ant-Man. Agent Carter. Into the Badlands. Superman. Three Fantastic Four Movies. Three Thor Movies. Five Spider-man Movies. Five X-men Movies. Two Wolverine Movies. Three Captain America Movies. Three Avengers Movies. Eight Batman Movies. I can’t even name them all anymore. Can you?
It’s like you want to turn our lives into a live action Marvel Comics and DC Comics universe. Just because I cosplay doesn’t mean that I’m not a real person!
Sometimes I just want to see a good show or movie that’s not based on a comic book. Why do you think I went behind your back and renewed my Netflix subscription and accidentally joined Amazon Prime? These are the only places where I can find solace from your comic book mania.
You keep telling me that I’ll get over my unhappiness by all the money you’ve made. I’m ashamed to admit that I’ve enjoyed your financial success, especially all the comic book-themed clothing I’ve been able to buy, though I’m still not sure about that X-Men Storm dress.
Though you have tried to hide it, it’s apparent that your feelings for me are now mostly box office-related. I’ve seen you looking at those new and clueless comic book movie attendees, making me feel like a starter wife you’re about to kick to the curb.
I just need some non-comic book time away from you. But I’m sure we’ll see each other again…probably once ‘Captain America: Civil War‘ hits the big screen. God help me.
A Comic Book Fan